Are You Punting On Pleasure? The Connection Between Sex and Your Business

Hide the little ones for this episode! Put your earbuds on because like that classic 90s Salt-N-Pepa song, today I’m talking about sex, baby. I want to eradicate the shame around sex and how it ties into your business and how you show up in it. If you didn’t know about this already... well, you’re about to find out!

2:15 - Painting a picture of how your energy in business affects your libido

5:43 - Think about this when you aren’t having (enough) sex

8:06 - What good sex will do for your business mindset

9:27 - Why pleasure isn’t just about sex 

Find me on Instagram or LinkedIn or email me at hello@lesliedlyons.com.

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Transcript for Are You Punting On Pleasure? The Connection Between Sex and Your Business

Hey boss, I am Leslie Lyons, your embodied leadership and sales coach, and this is Pleasurable Profits. This podcast is ideal for owners and leaders of tattoo shops, permanent makeup studios, cannabis businesses, movement studios, sex toy shops, and other industries that are too often left out of the leadership conversation. If you’re looking for a woo meets strategy approach to defining your strengths and values, designing a business that supports you, and creating a soul-driven, and of course, pleasurable plan for profitability, then let’s get started.

Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about something, something, something, something that can be. Let's talk. Hey, y'all. How are you doing? I hope you're doing well. I'm doing great. Thank you for asking. If my Little Diddy that I just sang when I came in gives you any clue into what today's episode is about, yeah, you might not want to have little people around but I always say you shouldn't listen to my podcast with little people around it anyway because I'll drop an F-bomb in a minute and that children shouldn't be exposed to that sort of thing. But today might be an extra spicy episode so definitely AirPods on for this. If you use Android, I don't know what to tell you.

This is one of those things that I feel like needs to be talked about more often. It's one of those things that people don't really want to raise their hand and say, “Yes, I have this problem,” because there's some shame that can be around this. Today, I really want to eradicate the shame around sex, how it ties into your business, and how you show up in your business because the truth of the matter is if you get enough paw swimming in a room and they feel comfortable, they will tell you what life is like when their sex life is going really well, or worst case scenario, they'll start telling you about how they're not getting enough sex.

Truthfully, I've been in seasons of that in my business as well where you're just so stressed out, let me just paint the picture. You're in growth mode in your business. I've seen this happen in a couple of scenarios in my marriage. One was where we were in survival mode like my business was falling apart, I didn't know what was happening. This was back in the 2008 recession. Here I was owning my very first brick-and-mortar, all of the stress of that, it wasn't making any money. I was in a controversial industry like many of you.

Nowadays, people think about pole dancing and they're like, “Oh, yeah, I know what that is.” Back in 2007, people were like, “What? What are you talking about?” In addition to being in a recession going into 2008, I was also in a business where I was having to explain like I was a trailblazer and I don't say that to be flipping, it's the truth. I was blazing a path for something that now is so commonplace all over the world.

The frustration of that and the weight of that made my libido low. As a person, you only have so much energy. If you're giving energy out to all these different places all the time, it’s easy when the sun goes down for all you want to do is your body to respond to the fact that the sun has gone down and is telling you you're tired as f*ck, go get some rest. That happens.

The other times that are happening have been the opposite when there were great things going on in my business where we were just expanding like crazy. I was hiring team members. We were expanding our product line. I was moving into another line of business. I was just expanding on such a personal level that again though, all my energy was wrapped up in the business and how to keep it moving forward. That was just such an exciting thing for me.

But again, when I go back to if I start the day with 16 ounces of energy and I've used 15 and a half ounces to keep the business going, that half an ounce don't leave a whole lot of energy to have sex or even just be intimate. Because that's the bigger thing for me in relationships. I think I'm going to do an episode specifically on how your business can become your side chick. It's how you can be in an adulterous relationship with your business but I don't know if the people are ready for that. I don't know if y'all are ready for that. Y'all have to let me know because that's raw but it's true where your business can become the other woman, your business could become the other man, your business can distract you from your relationship.

But I want to speak specifically to just sex in general. When you aren't having sex, I really want you to think about your overall disposition. Honestly, can you just be candid? You're typically cranky and when you're cranky, that means that you could show up short with people. You could lack patience for people because you're frustrated, there's this frustration that's built up. Also, I'd like to make an argument for the fact that you aren't as creative as you could be because there's a block there you're not releasing.

I'm not trying to be funny. I listened to this woman once. It was like, “These coaches out here who talk about sex and business need to just stay out of my bedroom. I'm fine.” I’m going to be honest, y'all, I judged the hell out of her. I was like, “Yeah, because you look like you ain't getting no sex life. Your whole energetic presentation, every time I see you, it looked like something--”

Don't get me started but I'm just like, “It looks like you are a little stiff on and you could use a little bit of working out. Don't be so aggressive. Don't come for us because we trying to give you more pleasure, more joy, and more access in your life. Don't come for us.” Because we're trying to increase your level of pleasure in your life. Don't come for the cannabis person because they got some love drops for your ass. Shout out to 1906, their love drop is absolutely amazing.

Don't come for us because we're trying to give you some pleasure in your life. Just say that you aren't happy in that department and you're not quite sure how to go about making it right, then we can have a real conversation. But it's so easy. If I do the episode, I am going to do the episode about your business being in an adulterous affair with your business. Because literally, the energy, the time, and the intimacy that you have that you could be giving to your spouse, you're giving to your business.

I'm not here to shame you. I'm not here to make you feel any worse about that. But I am saying there are some benefits to making sex a priority in your life. We're talking about good sex and we're talking about no quick 30-second roll over two minute kind of sex. We're talking about one where there is intimacy and there's connection and how that frees you up to think, how that clears, ain't nothing like a good orgasm to clear some sh*t out some cobwebs off of your mind and your heart, child. You wake up feeling light up. You feel like there's more pep to your step.

Why aren't you giving yourself the gift of good sex? Your business will benefit from it. Your creativity, how you think. Your clarity, you guys know I say this all the time, your number one priority in your business is to keep your energy clear, your mind clear, your clarity, your creativity flowing because that is the lifeblood of an entrepreneurial business. As a small business owner, it's all on you. You ain't got 15 other employees with great ideas. Everything is on you.

So you've got to prioritize the space that you have to create. Good sex will do that for you. Good communication will do that for you. Intimacy will do that for you. I'm not here to beat a bad drum today but I am here to advocate for orgasms. I need a t-shirt, “I'm advocating for orgasms. I'm advocating for you to have pleasure.”

Because that's the other thing, pleasure isn't just about sex. You might be like, “Leslie, girl, I get it. I'm having sex. I'm doing that.” But what about pleasure outside of the bedroom? Do you live a pleasure-centric life, not a hedonistic life like Wayne just chasing up after anything that brings us any type of pleasure?

I'm not saying that, I'm not saying be reckless, I'm saying be responsible. But I am saying, do you live a life where you're turned on? You're turned on by life? Do you live that type of life where you are on a regular basis stopping to appreciate beauty, on a regular basis, you're stopping and feeding your nervous system, calming yourself down, slowing down, and just actually taking time to live this very short life that we've been given?

If pleasure is on the back burner, in 2023 I'm advocating hard for you to get more pleasure in your life because that pleasure is a gateway to more success in your business. Don't believe me? Have some awesome sex this weekend. I don't want to hear about it, that's one of the ones you ain't going to DM me about. But see if it makes a difference. See if you feel lighter. See if you feel more creative. See if you feel more energized to bring your best to your work.

Because here's what I do know, when things are healthy in my home, and sex is a part of that, when things are healthy in my home, my energy is a lot more even kill. I'm a lot more calmer. I feel safer because my foundation is steady, my foundation is strong, and that's what I want for you. Alright, my loves. Hopefully, this is helpful. Hopefully, you have a great week. Until next week, grace and peace.